Remembering

One year ago today, my sweet dad left me here on this earth alone. This year has been, without question, the most difficult, depressing one of my life. It is indescribable, to someone who hasn't lost a parent, the pain that ensues. Does it ever lessen? There are so many times when I kind of forget, and I think of something I want to share with my dad, and then it hits me all over again. As if it were that day, April 28th, 2010. My emotions have run the gamut this year, from sadness, to anger, to real depression, which is an emotion that I have never struggled with before. I have been struck by the injustice of the fact that my kids will not grow up with their grandfather. That is so unfair to them. They deserve him. I have felt a constant pain in my heart for my mom, who lost her best friend, her companion of 40 years. How can I ever comfort that? How does she go on? She has been an amazing strength to me through this past year, but what about her? It is heart wrenching. As this date approached, I could feel my heart constricting. I felt a palpable sickness in my gut this morning when I woke. I want this day to go away. I might just remove it from my calendar. An image has popped into my head this week, over and over, so I thought I'd put it out there. Solidify it. It is this picture of my dad kissing me before my wedding. I truly adore this man. I am so blessed that I even had him for a day, and I am trying to count it as a gift that I had him for 34 years. I am comforted, a bit, to know that he is with God, but selfishly want him with me. With us. Taking my kids on tractor rides. Riding his mule. Sitting in his chair. Anything, really. Just him. The good and the bad. I sometimes look forward ten, twenty, thirty years, and hate the thought of my future without him. I pray that I can be strengthened in that, by knowing that I will be with him someday.

So, I write this post, not to be a downer, but just to get my feelings out there. And, to share this song, which has always had such great meaning to me, and even more so now. I know this somehow gets easier, many days it is, but for today, I am thinking of my dad non-stop, and hope that he is somehow close enough to feel how much I love and miss him.

Easter morn...

Easter morning felt a little Christmas-like. The kids were up at 6 AM, excited for their Easter baskets and egg hunt. Here they are on the stairs doing bunny impressions:

Fun baskets :









They looked adorable in their Easter best, but we will have to recreate that next week because we didn't get any photos! Ugh! I think it had something to do with non-stop pouring rain! We had a lovely day at church and our cousins Abby and Alec came over for dinner. It was a great day!!!


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The egg hunt

An awesome lady from our church put together the most awesome egg hunt on Saturday morning. She (and her family) hid 1200 eggs at a local, wooded park. Luckily it was the prettiest day of the Spring so far. There were lots of kids and excitement. She also made adorable paper nests for each child with their names on them, and filled them with candy, and hid them in the woods, too. The kids had a blast!

Ian ate as he hunted (you've got to keep your strength up!)!

Cute, Molly. She had so much fun!


Max with his basket. His shirt says it all!


A really fun Easter event, that almost never happened for us, because we ran out of gas on the way there when someone forgot to get gas that morning like his wife asked. Luckily, we have great friends, one of whom came and got me and the kids and took us to the hunt, while Jon took care of his little mess. In the spirit of Easter I forgave him by that evening.

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Easter fun

We had a little Easter party on Good Friday. We had some friends over, colored a ton of eggs, and ate some yummy treats! Here are our eggs:

Ian thought this was a pretty cool activity! His hands were more colorful than the eggs!


We made bunny rice krispy treats (sugar with more sugar on top! That was the theme of the weekend!)


Here's the whole hardworking group!


Then, we colored some really fun, intricate egg coloring sheets. The kids got super into these (it even held Max's attention)!


This was the beginning of a super fun, eventful Easter weekend. More to come...

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Reach the Beach!

On May 21st, Jonny is going to bike, along with lots of other cyclists, from Portland to Pacific City on the Oregon Coast, as part of the annual "Reach The Beach" ride which supports The American Lung Association.

Jon is dedicating this ride to my father. As many of you know, my dad had (and beat) lung cancer, COPD, emphysema, and asthma, along with constant bronchitis and plenty of bouts with pneumonia, and Jon has decided to ride this ride in his honor. Although my dad preferred to ride mules, Jon is more comfortable on a bike.

Jon has made a goal to raise at least $100 for The American Lung Association by way of pledges from you, our lovely friends and family. If you would like to donate to this very worthy cause, you can go to the web page http://www.ReachTheBeach.org and look him up under "riders." You can pay by credit card on that secure site. Or, you can just mail a check for any amount, to our home address, and he will submit it. If you need our address, email Jen at jensgottarun@gmail.com.

He would appreciate any donation. If a lot of people donate a little, he can reach, or maybe exceed, his goal with no problem. And, we will keep you updated as to whether or not he actually "reaches the beach!"

The bunny!

We tracked down the Easter Bunny yesterday! Ian is infatuated with any large character, so when we spotted the giant bunny from the window of the second floor of Borders, we hurried out to hunt him down. we are getting excited for Easter!

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Molly sings!

This is a song that Molly learned at her cute preschool!

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Grandma Bonnie

We are in Utah for Spring Break. That is the good news. The bad news is that we arrived to find a very sick Grandma Bonnie. She had Influenza B for a week, which turned into pneumonia. She was in the hospital for four days. When she came home, the kids had to wear masks to go near her. That did not stop Molly. She gave Grandma hugs and colored with her. We think having the grandkids there is what eventually helped her to turn the corner and get on the road to recovery. Her doctor gave her a good report at her visit yesterday. So, she got better just in time for us to leave. We love Grandma Bonnie so much and love visiting her house no matter what!

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No more brace face!!!

Olivia got her braces off today! Yippee! Two years later-first round complete! Here she is before her appointment:

The sign at the ortho's office announcing that she is "brace free!"


Olivia hitting the gong signifying the end of her braces journey (her orthodontist is so fun!).


Ta-da! No more brace face! She says her teeth feel "slippery!"


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Nail the White

This is Olivia's attempt at "Illustrator of the Month." Her teacher asked them to "nail the white," meaning to leave no white on the page. I think it's a great attempt and love that she is so into drawing aliens these days!

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Olivia: Mary Cassatt

Olivia did her biography report this year on Mary Cassatt. Her mom went to school to watch it and recorded the whole thing. However, when her mom got home and went to upload it to the computer, it was MIA. Could be user error, however, the light was blinking the whole time, and I stand by that will everything I have. Needless to say, I was SICK about it. Really SICK. She did such a great job and her class asked great questions which she answered so well, except on one that she didn't know, where she replied, "I'll have to get back to you on that." So cute! I did get a few photos of her dressed up in her classroom.

And, then, I made her redo it at home, for her tutor and her dad, and I really recorded it that time! Not the same, but better than nothing. And, luckily, Olivia forgave me for my technological retardation. It's a dangerous gift, this hi-tech stuff. I would post it here, but can't figure that out either. Oh well. Hopefully it will be forth-coming, but until then, enjoy this cute picture of my aspiring artist!

My monkeys!

My cute boys at their gymnastics class this morning! They love it!

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Happy Birthday, Jonny!

We celebrated Jon's birthday this past weekend. Forty-something. Kind of old. But still smokin' hot! We went out to a fun Moroccan restaurant Saturday night and he totally got up and danced with a belly dancer and put money in her waistband. Kind of sketchy, but since it was his birthday, I let it go! It was yummy and super fun. I sure love this guy!

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My baby boy...

How cute is he???

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Cowboy Max

Today was cowboy/cowgirl day at preschool. We borrowed some awesome cowboy stuff from a friend, and Max has been in heaven trying all kinds of combinations of cool vests, chaps, and shirts. He loves it, and has been super imaginatively playing for the past two days. Which makes for a very happy mommy. And, I would imagine, a super proud Papa. Needless to say, I have some bids in on Ebay already for some great cowboy dress-ups!

Unfortunately, Molly has a lingering cough and was a bit tired this morning, so we decided to keep her home. She was sad to miss cowgirl day, but has had fun dressing up at home.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I really super love this guy. Especially lately. Not sure why it goes in cycles for us, anyone else like that? I mean, I love him all the time, really, it's just that there are those rough patches, and then the smooth ones come, and it's a great reminder of why we stick it out together. We are on an upswing now, and I am enjoying the bliss of it all. The affirmation of why we ARE. I mean, the storms come, and we weather those together, sometimes well, other times, not so well, but when the clouds break, and we are still us, it makes my heart sing! (sappy, but true)

Happy Valentine's Day, Jonny!

(what could he be whispering in my ear? I will never tell!)

a heart melter...

Since it is almost Valentine's Day (which is my second favorite holiday, for those of you who are keeping track), I thought I would post some things that melted my heart today (so far):

1. Max crawling into bed with me for a snuggle before breakfast.

2. Jonny starting my car so it was nice and warm (seat included) when I got in this very chilly morning!

3. Ian sharing his old-fashioned donut with me by his own free will and choice. Yum!

4. Max saying, "don' t take my Ian from me!" when I told Ian it was nap time.

5. Reading three Thomas the Tank Engine stories to Ian before his nap while he cuddled right under my chin. Then, tickling the buttermilk out of him while he giggled until he ran out of breath!

6. Molly telling me that I am the "best cutter ever" when I helped her finish her valentines (which entailed butting 57 hearts and 36 leaves from cardstock).

7. Max asking me, "is there anything I can do for you, Mom?"

And, it's only three o'clock, so I am sure there will be many, many more. Wishing all of you a heart-melting weekend.

Locks of Love...

Molly has been growing her hair for a long time. She has never really been into the long hair thing. I told her that if she grew it long enough, she could cut it and make a hair piece for someone who lost their hair due to an illness. She immediately said, "like Grace?" (Grace is our friend who just ended 2 1/2 years of chemotherapy for Leukemia, and lost her hair during treatment). I told her, yes, like Grace. And, that is all she needed to make the commitment to Locks of Love. Her hair grew, and grew, and grew, and this past weekend, she took the plunge. Here are some pics!

Before: Long, long hair!

Here she is right after the pony tail came off. Wow!

And, here is the little doll with her new haircut. She couldn't quit smiling the whole rest of the day. She loves her short hair and she loves telling everyone she meets why she cut her hair and who she is helping. She is quite humble.

We are super proud of Molly for her giving heart!

Groundhog Day.....every day...

Does anyone else LOVE this movie? It has become a typical joke in my life that I am living this movie. Does anyone else feel this way? Every day is the same. Get up, run, shower, make breakfast, clean up, get kids ready, take them to school, dance, gymnastics, clean the house, fix lunch, clean up, laundry, laundry, laundry, make dinner, clean up, piano, basketball practice, bathe kids, clean up, put kids to bed, clean up. YIKES. I make it sound so glamorous!

However, the beauty of my personal Groundhog's day, is that I get to do all of the above with the people I adore most in this world, so I don't really mind so much that what I do is the same each day, because I get to be the mom to the greatest miracles in this world-my children, and the wife to my soul mate. Things could be much, much worse.

And, Puxatawny Phil did not see his shadow, so Spring is coming very soon. Yeah, right.

Same, same know your name...

I would like to introduce you all to "Jen" Barbie. Molly named her that because (this is the best part) "she looks exactly like you, Mom!" I couldn't agree more. Jon can't stop laughing.

*dress designed from a wet wipe, by Molly*