Jen and the no good, very bad day!

OK, we all have them, right?  Those days that suck from the get-go.  Today was one of them for me, and I thought I'd share.  It will either depress you all or make you grateful that your day was not so bad after all.  Either way,  you will definitely thank me for not sharing pictures on this post!

So, to start with, I slept very little last night, so I woke up a little cranky.  Then breakfast, although the norm, was annoying. 

Max, "I want the green bowl."

Molly, "No, I want the green bowl."  

Me, "You can both have green bowls!" I shout.  Stuff like that.  

Then, I get ready for the day, do a load of laundry.  Take a shower with two head playing peek-a-boo with the shower curtain.  Try to solve everyone's problems while I pack a picnic lunch, get kids dressed, change stinky diapers, etc, etc.  We all get into the car to go to Olivia's swim lesson and guess what?  The van is DEAD.  Jon cleaned it the night before and apparently left the lights on and ta-da!  I am in stress mode.  I try to call a friend to get Olivia for her lesson. No answer.  I try half of my ward members who might be in the neighborhood with cables.  No answer.  I call and sort-of half chew out my husband for his carelessness (which was totally unnecessary, since he wasn't really TRYING to sabatoge me).  I get the kids out of the 90 degree car to wait by the phone to see if anyone will rescue me.

Finally it happens, a nice guy in our ward comes by and jumps my van.  Yay!  It starts.  We decide to go swimming anyways, since the lunch is packed.  

The swim park is fun, all is well. I am totally overheating by 2 o'clock so I give the 10 minute warning, to which I get plenty of whining.  I decide to get M and M all changed and ready to go, and then the downhill part starts again......

Molly has pooped in her swim diaper.  Not the disposable kind, I have gone green with my swim diapers and do the cloth now, and I DO NOT recommend them.  They are not worth the earth they save.  I want to puke at this point.  I have to pull the one size too small diaper down her legs as the poop drags down her legs as well.  What am I supposed to do?  This is not the part of motherhood I signed up for!  I have THREE (3) wet wipes.  It's kind of a strategy session at this point, what do I do with the three?  And thank goodness, I did have a large plastic bag for the used goods.  I decide to wipe her up with the three wipes, and then I take her to the bathroom to clean the swim diaper in the toilet and her in the sink.  SO GROSS.  I barely come out of this with my lunch still in my BIG tummy. 

OK, Max's turn.  Uh-oh, Max pooped in his swim diaper too!  Yippee-skippy, I get to do it all again.  Oh, but guess what?  No more wipes.  Crap!  Literally.......so I take him in the bathroom and use paper towels all the while lecturing him on going poo-poo on the potty.  He is solemnly nodding in agreement.  "OK, Mommy.......I do......"  I am bending over to wash out his diaper in the toilet when my glasses fall off my head into the %(@$.........."what the H?" I want to say, but I didn't, not out loud anyways, I mean there was someone in the stall next to us who already heard me at my not so nicest mommy moment.

So, I fished out my glasses, and we got the hay out of there before I started to swear or cry.  We came home and had quiet time.  I recovered.  I took a shower and soaked EVERYTHING in bleach.  

And, to end on a good note, my evening has been much better.  Jon brought me home a HUGE dark chocolate candy bar from Trader Joe's AND a box of truffles (as if I am not fat enough). This was all BEFORE he knew how bad my day was.......so sweet.....I saved that story for AFTER dinner (aren't I thoughtful?).  I am heading up to eat it all now to try to induce a chocolate coma.