Remembering

One year ago today, my sweet dad left me here on this earth alone. This year has been, without question, the most difficult, depressing one of my life. It is indescribable, to someone who hasn't lost a parent, the pain that ensues. Does it ever lessen? There are so many times when I kind of forget, and I think of something I want to share with my dad, and then it hits me all over again. As if it were that day, April 28th, 2010. My emotions have run the gamut this year, from sadness, to anger, to real depression, which is an emotion that I have never struggled with before. I have been struck by the injustice of the fact that my kids will not grow up with their grandfather. That is so unfair to them. They deserve him. I have felt a constant pain in my heart for my mom, who lost her best friend, her companion of 40 years. How can I ever comfort that? How does she go on? She has been an amazing strength to me through this past year, but what about her? It is heart wrenching. As this date approached, I could feel my heart constricting. I felt a palpable sickness in my gut this morning when I woke. I want this day to go away. I might just remove it from my calendar. An image has popped into my head this week, over and over, so I thought I'd put it out there. Solidify it. It is this picture of my dad kissing me before my wedding. I truly adore this man. I am so blessed that I even had him for a day, and I am trying to count it as a gift that I had him for 34 years. I am comforted, a bit, to know that he is with God, but selfishly want him with me. With us. Taking my kids on tractor rides. Riding his mule. Sitting in his chair. Anything, really. Just him. The good and the bad. I sometimes look forward ten, twenty, thirty years, and hate the thought of my future without him. I pray that I can be strengthened in that, by knowing that I will be with him someday.

So, I write this post, not to be a downer, but just to get my feelings out there. And, to share this song, which has always had such great meaning to me, and even more so now. I know this somehow gets easier, many days it is, but for today, I am thinking of my dad non-stop, and hope that he is somehow close enough to feel how much I love and miss him.

Easter morn...

Easter morning felt a little Christmas-like. The kids were up at 6 AM, excited for their Easter baskets and egg hunt. Here they are on the stairs doing bunny impressions:

Fun baskets :









They looked adorable in their Easter best, but we will have to recreate that next week because we didn't get any photos! Ugh! I think it had something to do with non-stop pouring rain! We had a lovely day at church and our cousins Abby and Alec came over for dinner. It was a great day!!!


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The egg hunt

An awesome lady from our church put together the most awesome egg hunt on Saturday morning. She (and her family) hid 1200 eggs at a local, wooded park. Luckily it was the prettiest day of the Spring so far. There were lots of kids and excitement. She also made adorable paper nests for each child with their names on them, and filled them with candy, and hid them in the woods, too. The kids had a blast!

Ian ate as he hunted (you've got to keep your strength up!)!

Cute, Molly. She had so much fun!


Max with his basket. His shirt says it all!


A really fun Easter event, that almost never happened for us, because we ran out of gas on the way there when someone forgot to get gas that morning like his wife asked. Luckily, we have great friends, one of whom came and got me and the kids and took us to the hunt, while Jon took care of his little mess. In the spirit of Easter I forgave him by that evening.

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Easter fun

We had a little Easter party on Good Friday. We had some friends over, colored a ton of eggs, and ate some yummy treats! Here are our eggs:

Ian thought this was a pretty cool activity! His hands were more colorful than the eggs!


We made bunny rice krispy treats (sugar with more sugar on top! That was the theme of the weekend!)


Here's the whole hardworking group!


Then, we colored some really fun, intricate egg coloring sheets. The kids got super into these (it even held Max's attention)!


This was the beginning of a super fun, eventful Easter weekend. More to come...

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Reach the Beach!

On May 21st, Jonny is going to bike, along with lots of other cyclists, from Portland to Pacific City on the Oregon Coast, as part of the annual "Reach The Beach" ride which supports The American Lung Association.

Jon is dedicating this ride to my father. As many of you know, my dad had (and beat) lung cancer, COPD, emphysema, and asthma, along with constant bronchitis and plenty of bouts with pneumonia, and Jon has decided to ride this ride in his honor. Although my dad preferred to ride mules, Jon is more comfortable on a bike.

Jon has made a goal to raise at least $100 for The American Lung Association by way of pledges from you, our lovely friends and family. If you would like to donate to this very worthy cause, you can go to the web page http://www.ReachTheBeach.org and look him up under "riders." You can pay by credit card on that secure site. Or, you can just mail a check for any amount, to our home address, and he will submit it. If you need our address, email Jen at jensgottarun@gmail.com.

He would appreciate any donation. If a lot of people donate a little, he can reach, or maybe exceed, his goal with no problem. And, we will keep you updated as to whether or not he actually "reaches the beach!"

The bunny!

We tracked down the Easter Bunny yesterday! Ian is infatuated with any large character, so when we spotted the giant bunny from the window of the second floor of Borders, we hurried out to hunt him down. we are getting excited for Easter!

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Molly sings!

This is a song that Molly learned at her cute preschool!

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