Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The library.......

So, why is it that I always let myself be fooled into the crazy idea that the library is a good outing?  It is just NOT!  Not with my brood, anyways.  


We decided on the library today because it was sprinkling this morning when we were getting ready for our walk.  Also, I have been hyping up the "Summer reading program" to Olivia, since she still claims an abhorrence for reading.  So, she picked out a tote bag which we decorated beautifully with fabric paints that is just HERS for the library.  And she was excited to go.  I have not had a book to read in WEEKS, and it's been driving me crazy, so I really needed to get a good read also.  

Here's how our trip to the library went:

We pull up, Molly is already in tears because she dropped her blanket.  Max, instead of eating his cereal bar, squished it in his hands so that the jelly in the middle was oozing out of his fingers.  Olivia, is super ready to fill her new tote.  

We head into the library, which is a task in and of itself, because all the kids want to climb on the wall that lines the sidewalk and they all need my hand to balance.  I only have two hands! Why does the library have that wall???  Then, M and M begin to fight over who gets to push the handicap button to open the door.  Max gets there first, as he usually does, and Molly goes to pieces again.  I try to comfort her by saying that it's ok, she can push it too, but we turn every head in the library upon our arrival.  We hurry to the elevator down to the children's section. In the elevator I give them all a talking to about our "library voices."  

Downstairs I try to help Olivia find some appropriate books for her reading level, while M and M try to play on the computers, climb up the drinking fountains, and disappear into the bathroom.  At one point the lights go off in the lower level, and I know it's Max, so I hurry to hunt him down.  He's gone.  He got on the elevator, by himself.  I start to panic.  Olivia hurries to track him down while I grab Molly to take off up the stairs in hopes of cornering him at some point of the three floor library.  Just as I head up, Olivia comes down with Max, pulling his arm, he is screaming.  I feel all eyes on me as I tell the kids AGAIN about our library voices. I tell Olivia to wrap it up and try to get M and M to read a quick book with me.  Molly sits on my lap to read but Max runs off.  Again, the lights go off.  UGH.  I pack up my books and round them up.  Time to go.  But I still have to get a book on the adult level.

We get off the elevator and I say, "stay with me, I just need to get one book."  Of course, no one stays with me and we have a repeat of the elevator drama with BOTH Max and Molly.  Luckily you can hear Molly's screams the whole way up and back down the elevator shaft.  I feel the eyes of the library again.  Once I round them up, I have pretty much had it.  I put Max on my hip and grab Molly's hand and head to the place I am sure to find a book that will do.  I grab the first one I haven't read by a particular author I like and as I bend down Max shouts out.......

"OOWWW, you hurted my PENIS!"

At this point, my head down, we exited the premises just as quickly as I could check out my books and pay my $21 fine.........

And my goal is to do this once a week for the entire summer.  Wish me luck.

10 comments:

Kristen said...

I LOVE this. Jen, you are my mom Hero of the day!...and....since when did Max start talking so well, I can only imagine how those words rang out in that quiet little library :)

Mandy said...

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha, hee hee hee! I am wiping away tears I am laughing so hard. I'm so glad we aren't the only ones . . . it all rang so true, the elevator, walking on the wall, the handicap button . . .

Jen said...

Max only says a select few words that are clear as day and the P word is one of them!

Raina said...

I am dying at this!! Right about here is where I am wishing that someone could come and swoop up my little ones and help. The library can be such a great place and completely terrifying too.

BIG Brother said...

I knew there was a good reason why we only had 2 kids and spaced them 10 years apart!! you go Super Mom!

Unknown said...

You make me happy, that is just too funny! Way to go! Good luck on the next trip! What book did you get for yourself?

Alisha B. Whitman said...

Has enough time passed that his story is funny to you yet? I would've died, but man, it's funny to read about. We go to the Tigard library and have therefore avoided any elevator trouble thankfully. And what are you going to do when you need four hands?

Erin said...

This is so funny. I can picure it all so well in my head. You are such a great mom and you paid your fine! I have avoided the library completely, which is why we have had the same tractor books for three months. Exactly, what will that do to my fine?

Sugarlene said...

oh my gosh! I am always finding myself, laughing uncontrollably when I hear mommy stores like this. I just shake my head, and say, "been there done that!!!!!" You really ought to write a book Jen!!

Aspen said...

So funny Jen! You are great to actually still check out the books. I would have been too mortified and just left without any books probably. Oh man! What a great story.