Father's Day thoughts...

Father's Day is traditionally a day to make known to our Dad's how much we love them and appreciate them. I find myself melancholy today because I don't get that opportunity. I keep thinking of the things I miss about my dad. The things I don't want to forget. The things I wish I would have said to him, or done with him. The fact that him being gone is unbearable and so unfair. The way I feel cheated not to have my dad with me today and to not be able to pick up the phone and call him. The list of things I miss keeps rolling through my mind. Here are some of the big ones:

1. His voice. The sound of his voice, simple as that may seem. My mom's answering machine still has that voice, and sometimes I call just to hear it. Sometimes I try to hang up before I hear it. He had such a deep, warm voice. I loved to hear him sing. George Strait. Johnny Cash. Gospel music. I miss the way he would ask me, "how's my gal?" and the way he would whisper to me how proud he was of me every time we parted. I miss hearing him laugh and talk and read to my kids. I miss the noise he'd make when he kissed them and hugged them.

2. His presence in a room. He filled up a room, not just because of his size, but because of his aura and who he was. He could be quietly sitting in his chair, but you knew he was there.

3. His eyes. They were so warm. They literally had a twinkle at times...

4. His smile. Hands down, my favorite feature. That crooked smile when he was amused.

5. His laugh and sense of humor. Sometimes his wittiness went right over my head, and I would only laugh at it days later. The biggest compliment to me is when Jon tells me, "you are witty like your dad." I hope so.

6. His love of animals. This ran so deep in my dad. From his horses to his dogs, he knew his animals and loved them and took such great care of them.

7. His love of my mother. I can't say much more without choking up, but my goodness, that man loved his wife. He went to hell and back for that woman. And we all know that she is worth it.

8. His love of his grandkids. They were a beacon of light in his life, especially when he got sick. He knew each one of them.

9. His honesty. He was the most honest person I have ever known. He never lied. Ever. And, he detested lying in others. He lived a life true to who he was.

10. The thing I miss the absolute most about my dad are his big, bear hugs. He gave a little piece of his heart in each one of them. I would give anything for one of those on this Father's Day.

Here are some pictures I love. Do you see what I mean by that smile? So great.

Eskimo kisses. Oh, and I forgot to mention how much I miss that silver hair, that tanned complexion, and those huge hands with the one crooked, pointy finger.

I miss you, Dad. Today and every day.